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Many leaders use their limited attention to develop underperformers or to try to reengage disengaged employees. As a result, they can unintentionally overlook high-performing employees. Studies show many high performers leave because they feel unnoticed and undervalued. There’s a word for the experience of feeling unseen and undervalued: Psychologists call it “anti-mattering.” When people experience anti-mattering, they withdraw, languish, and often leave. On the other hand,mattering is the experience of feeling significant to those around you, which comes from feeling valued and adding value. Experiencing mattering drives well-being, engagement, and performance. Research shows the experience of mattering happens through everyday interactions with leaders, not through programs or perks. There are three primary ways to optimize interactions so high performers see how they matter: notice them, affirm them, show them how they’re needed.
Aiden was such a good oncology nurse that he became a manager within two years. He led a team that helped people through one of the most challenging circumstances they’ll face: a cancer diagnosis and the ensuing treatment. He rarely missed a shift, his nurses received some of the highest patient satisfaction scores at the hospital, and he won several peer-nominated awards.
