This story contains spoilers for Netflix’s Hit Man.
Need someone taken care of? Eliminated? Taken out of the picture? If you catch my drift, call the number on billboards all over Los Angeles this weekend. They’ll happily point you toward someone qualified for the job, with slogans such as “I’ll kill for your business.” Be wary when you call the toll-free number, however, because Gary Johnson is not a real hit man. It’s all promotion for the Richard Linklater–directed Hit Man, a new Netflix film starring Glen Powell. The film follows a real-life undercover hit man in Houston who only pretended that he was a hired killer so that he could help the Houston police department catch (possibly) would-be murderers.
As the story goes, whenever the police received a tip about someone wanting to contact a hit man, they’d send in Johnson and he’d catch them in the act. Johnson reportedly caught more than 60 Houston residents during his career, very likely saving a lot of lives. Then Linklater gave Johnson a Hollywood ending. Morphing his story into a romantic comedy, Hit Man asks the question What if Johnson fell in love with a woman who wanted to hire him to kill her husband? After some hijinks, it’s happily ever after for just about everyone, save for a certain character. But would Powell and Co. ever return for Hit Man 2?
“At the end of the day, it’s the beginning of a beautiful family,” Powell told People about the ending of the film. “Every couple meets in different ways, this one just happens to have, you know, love and murder.”
When asked about the murders the couple do commit at the end of the film, Linklater added,”Let’s hope they don’t have to [keep murdering people]” to keep up the lie. “Why would they have to keep killing anyone? I think they eliminated their problem.”
Oh, yeah? You think so, huh? I have a few ideas about how Gary’s story could continue, Mr. Linklater.
2 Hit, 2 Man, anyone?
1. Hit Men
Taking a page from James Cameron’s Aliens, Hit Man 2 (aka Hit Men) ups the ante by adding a second hit man. This guy is the real deal, forcing Gary to get back into the game to stop the killings. It’s like Spy vs. Spy, but one of the spies is faking it until they make it. Casting is wide-open, but I got my eyes on a Christian Slater type. I’m thinking Dean Winters, the Allstate Mayhem guy.
2. The Fall Guys
Glen Powell’s acting chops are the real highlight of Hit Man, proving that the Top Gun: Maverick actor has what it takes to lead a summer blockbuster. His performance in the film is screaming for a Ryan Gosling pairing, and I have the perfect opportunity for both of them. It’s called The Fall Guys, and the film combines two completely separate movie worlds just so that Gosling and Powell can hang out together onscreen for our enjoyment. I don’t even really care what they get into–just put ’em shoulder to shoulder for me, please. Maybe they can simply laugh at the same time while there’s an explosion in the background.
3. Kingdom of the Planet of the Hit Man
Okay, hear me out. In the future, everyone is a hit man. To survive is to murder, Purge style, and to murder is to survive. Picture that scene at the end of John Wick 2 when every single person walking around Central Park is secretly an assassin. The only way to fix the planet and restore the balance is to root out every hit man and put them behind bars by going undercover as a hit man once again. Can Gary Johnson save the planet?!
4. Hit Man Goes to Washington
Logline: Mr. Hit Man, sir, we need you to kill the president of the United States.
