Kimmel Posits That ‘Elderly Con Man, Farting on Stage’ Trump Might Be Trying to Lose on Purpose
Jimmy Kimmel had an interesting theory about some of Donald Trump’s recent, weird campaign decisions. It seems that lately, Trump is spending a lot more time campaigning in places that aren’t essential to winning than he is in swing states, and the ABC host thinks it might be because he’s King Midas, but in reverse.
“Deep down, he knows the only way to reverse this curse is to lose the election,” Kimmel said, adding, “let’s help this poor man do that.”
Trump, Kimmel said during his monologue on Thursday, has “a few interesting tour dates on the calendar. Instead of the expected stops in swing states, Trump is holding rallies in solidly blue states like California, Colorado, Illinois and New York, places where he’s losing by a margin wider than his pants, which seems like it doesn’t seem like a great strategy.”
“Our Electoral College system means there are only about six states that matter, and the polls are showing very tight races in all of those states. So Why is Trump campaigning in California and New York, states he has about as much chance of winning as he has of winning a BETE Award, instead of the swing states? I have a theory,” he continued. “And you have to bear with me on this.”
“Have you heard the story of King Midas,” Kimmel asked. “The guy who everything he touches turns into gold?”
“So King Midas, he thinks this power’s gonna be great, turning everything he touches into gold. But then he can’t smell flowers, can’t eat food, can’t have a drink, and so on. That is Donald Trump,” Kimmel argued. “He believes he can turn anything into gold.”
“In his Aqua-Net muddled brain, he turns little crowds into big crowds, big crowds into huge crowds, he wins every tournament at his golf club, he could stop any war, he’s the smartest and the greatest and the richest. And he became president of the United States, which is not something even he imagined would ever happen, but it’s got this power. The magic narcissist reached the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, and now, now that he has he’s up there alone,” Kimmel went on.
“He can’t break the spell. It’s too strong. He can’t admit what he really is, which is a sad, elderly con man, farting on stage,” Kimmel declared. “So now he’s sabotaging himself. He’s saying ‘immigrants eat dogs.’ He’ll be a ‘dictator on day one.’ He’s selling God Bless the USA bibles made in China, and he’s campaigning in states he has no hope winning instead of the states he does. He believe he can turn those states into gold? Maybe, but I think it’s more likely that deep down, he knows the only way to reverse this curse is to lose the election.”
“So let’s help this poor man do that. Let us help our golden King break the spell and go on with his magnificent life.”
As for the farting thing, Kimmel brought that up earlier in the monologue, but during a speech in Detroit on Thursday, an audible noise occurred, and a lot of observers think it was caused by Trump farting.
Watch the full “Jimmy Kimmel Live” monologue below:
