Unless you’ve been living under a rock—or, even better, have managed to limit your screen time (in which case, send tips, please!)—you’ve likely heard of the Menendez brothers. Lyle and Erik became household names in 1989 after murdering their parents. Earlier this year, Ryan Murphy retold the story of the crime on his anthology series Monsters, reintroducing the brothers to a new audience—and, in turn, prompting a whole bunch of questions.
Case in point: Kitty Menendez. The family matriarch is a bit of an enigma. Played by Chloë Sevigny on the Netflix series, Lyle and Erik’s mother is depicted as withdrawn, cruel, and addicted to pills and alcohol; she often wanders around their estate with a clear disdain for her sons. In one scene, she rips Lyle’s toupee off his head—and in another, she tells her therapist that she hates her kids.
But is that an accurate portrayal? Or is Sevigny’s Kitty off-base? We may never know the truth, but we do have some facts available. In unpacking Kitty’s story, we may better understand the events leading up to her death. In an interview with Harper’s Bazaar, Sevigny spoke about portraying Kitty on Monsters. “I do want to bring dignity to her, even in her faults,” she said, “and try to empathize with how she felt about the things that she complains about throughout the show.”
Keep reading for everything we know about Kitty Menendez.
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Who Was Kitty Menendez?
The first thing you should know about Kitty is that her name was actually Mary Louise Anderson. She was born in 1941 and nicknamed Kitty later on. According to crime reporter Rachel Pergament, Kitty was the youngest of four in a middle-class family in Oak Lawn, Illinois. She grew up in a volatile household: Her father, Charles, reportedly beat her mother, Mae, along with Kitty and her siblings, Milt, Brian, and Joan.
Charles and Mae divorced when Kitty was young, which took a significant toll on her. Pergament writes that Kitty was depressed and had difficulty making friends. Despite her reported disposition, her family remembered her fondly. “She was stunningly beautiful,” her brother Brian said in an episode of ABC’s 20/20. “And I mean beautiful on the outside, even more so on the inside.”
When she was a senior in college, Kitty won a beauty pageant. Around the same time, she met her soon-to-be husband, Jose Menendez.
How Did Kitty Meet Jose?
Jose and Kitty met on campus at Southern Illinois University in 1962. She was a senior and he was a sophomore, but they hit it off nonetheless. According to Vanity Fair, Jose attended the school on a swimming scholarship. Kitty was studying communications. By 1963, they were inseparable.
On the show, Jose is determined to marry Kitty, but her family doesn’t approve. However, a 1990 report from the Los Angeles Times reveals that his family wasn’t keen on the idea, either. He was still a teenager. Despite his family’s hesitations, Jose said, “If I’m old enough to live on my own at sixteen, I’m old enough to get married at nineteen.” He’d immigrated to America from Cuba just a few years prior.
Kitty and Jose wed in 1963. They had their first son, Joseph “Lyle” Menendez, on January 10, 1968. Their second son, Erik, was born a few years later, on November 27, 1970. Throughout their marriage, Jose reportedly cheated on Kitty numerous times. Vanity Fair reports that Jose was “flagrantly unfaithful,” and his actions sent Kitty into a deep depression. Her friend Karen Lam said that she’d attempted suicide three times.
Kitty’s therapist, Edwin S. Cox, testified about her mental state during the first trial. He also claimed that she was suicidal due to Jose’s eight-year affair with a woman in New York. Despite his infidelity, Jose remained married to Kitty and moved their family around the country, often buying large estates for them to live in.
In 1986, Kitty and Jose moved to Calabasas, settling in the house where they were killed. Apparently, she never wanted to be there in the first place. According to Today, her friends told the Times that she would’ve preferred to stay in New Jersey.
What Happened to Kitty Menendez?
In 1989, Kitty was murdered alongside her husband. Lyle and Erik shot the couple at close range, then called the police and acted as though they’d stumbled upon the murder. At first, the crime was investigated as a Mob hit, but eventually, Lyle and Erik became the prime suspects.
In their first trial, they admitted to the shooting but claimed it was done in self-defense. On September 13, 1994, Lyle testified that Kitty “harassed him” with sexual misconduct. He said that until he was thirteen, she would wash his body “everywhere.” He also claimed that she brought him into her bed and asked him to touch her “everywhere.” He alleged that Kitty was physically abusive, too, and that she beat him, kicked him, and dragged him around by his hair. He and his brother, Erik, accused their father of rampant sexual abuse as well.
Though the Menendez family’s lives seemed glamorous, a cycle of devastating events was happening behind closed doors. Lyle and Erik’s first trial resulted in a hung jury. In their second trial, the judge deemed most of the brothers’ abuse evidence inadmissible. Both Lyle and Erik were sentenced to life in prison.
Kitty was buried alongside her husband in 1989 at the Princeton Cemetery in New Jersey.
