This Woman Is Refusing To Host Thanksgiving After Her Sister Demanded Everyone Sign A “Family Code Of Conduct” To Attend
The holidays are here, and some people are demanding extreme order at this year’s celebrations. In this story, a woman is demanding all attendees sign a “code of conduct” to attend Thanksgiving, and it’s causing a major family rift.
Here’s the full story from ziolczykdaniel: “This happened recently, and I’m still baffled. For context, I (32, female) have hosted Thanksgiving for my family every year since I moved into my house five years ago. It’s always a little messy and chaotic, but that’s part of the charm, right?”
“This year, my sister (29, female) decided she wanted to ‘help bring some order’ to the gathering. At first, I thought she just meant coordinating who would bring what dishes or helping with cleanup.”
“Instead, she showed up at my house last week with printed copies of what she called a ‘Family Code of Conduct.'”
“She was completely serious. When I laughed and said, ‘You can’t be serious,’ she accused me of ‘not taking her efforts to improve family dynamics seriously.’ I told her I wasn’t going to enforce a code of conduct at my house and that if she wanted to micromanage Thanksgiving, she could host it herself.”
“She doubled down, saying I was being ungrateful and stubborn. I canceled hosting, and now the family is mad at me. My mom thinks I should’ve just humored her for the day, while my brother (35, male) is refusing to go anywhere unless ‘no one tries to draft a holiday constitution.'”
“I’m torn. Was I wrong for standing my ground, or should I have let her run the day to keep the peace?”
“I’m with your brother. This would make me skip Thanksgiving altogether. Not the asshole. If she wants to be the Thanksgiving police, she’s welcome to attempt this at her own house,” Born-Horror-5049 wrote in response.
“You’re not wrong for standing your ground. Thanksgiving should be fun, not a corporate meeting with rules! It’s your house, your choice,” Hannah-King agreed.
Kmia55 called out the mother’s response to the code of conduct.
“Your mother wanting you to ‘humor her for the day’ is nothing more than your mother wanting her peace, not anyone else’s. It is the equivalent of saying, ‘Well, that’s just her personality,’ which is BS. Your sister is being rude, and your mother knows that but doesn’t want to confront your sister herself.”
Lily_0601 felt that the “no-politics” rule was actually a good idea.
“I once hosted Thanksgiving and banned all political talk. I’m not going to do all of the cooking, sweating my ass off, for my family to start arguing at the table. I don’t agree with the rest of the topics but I’m in full agreement of leaving polarizing topics at home.”
MRSAMinor shared a similar experience attending their father’s birthday that had specific rules for guests.
“My father did this for his 75th birthday. I was not to engage in conversation with more than two people at once; I was not to discuss any controversial topics, such as gay rights in the Mormon church, because he had one Mormon friend there. I was to be completely drug and alcohol-free, and I was to RSVP immediately. I waited several months, and a few weeks before Dad’s party, my cousin convinced me to just go along with it. My father said it no longer mattered that I agreed because I’d disrespected him by waiting. It’s a control thing. It doesn’t really matter where it comes from — it made me feel shitty. And I don’t have any history of getting into fights with his guests. It was just hand-wringing, but it was cowardly and shitty of him to make up rules to make me feel like an outsider who can’t behave at parties.”
What are your thoughts on this situation? Let us know in the comments below.
