Sexplain It: My Partner Is Afraid He’ll Injure His Very Curved Penis During Sex

I’m Zachary Zane, a sex writer, author, and ethical Boyslut (a fancy way of saying I sleep with a lot of people, and I’m very, very open about it). Over the years, I’ve had my fair share of sexual experiences, dating and sleeping with hundreds of people of all genders and orientations. In doing so, I’ve learned a thing or two about navigating issues in the bedroom (and many other places, TBH). I’m here to answer your most pressing sex questions with thorough, actionable advice that isn’t just “communicate with your partner” because you know that already. Ask me anything—literally, anything—and I will gladly Sexplain It.

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Dear Sexplain It,

What are some good penis-in-vagina (PIV) positions when someone has a dick with a drastic curve? My guy gets anxious that he’ll get injured during penetrative sex because of the extreme left curve of his dick. He says that he can relax when he’s on top and can control the movement, but I don’t want to do only missionary forever. What are some other positions that’ll keep him out of his head—and deep in my pussy?

— Stuck in Missionary

Dear Stuck in Missionary,

Good news, you get to have a ton of sex with your curved dick man! The “type” of sex I’m recommending is trial and error. Every penis is different when it comes to size, girth, length, curvature, and rigidity. And every vagina is unique when it comes to depth, flexibility, natural wetness, and so on. So, positions that may work for even another curved-dicked man still might not work for you and your partner.

At Men’s Health, we have a list of 56 sex positions that feel great. Go through each of them, slowly, while using a ton of lube. (Lube should hopefully decrease pain, and increase pleasure for both of you.) Note that this isn’t necessarily going to be a “hot” sex session; the goal here isn’t to orgasm, but rather to learn which positions your partner can do more safely, with low potential for injury.

While having sex, you both should communicate about your level of pain or discomfort and how it feels. Actually, communicate about everything you’re feeling; including when it feels good.

Ask your partner (or tell him to ask you) to move a little to the left. Try the position with a pillow under your back or tilt your hips upward—play with angles. If a particular position/angle feels good for you and safe for him, have him slowly increase his speed and power and see how it feels then for you both.

And, of course, incorporate sex toys. Have your partner fuck you in missionary while you put a wand on your clitoris. Or have him wear a vibrating cock ring for additional pleasure. Put a butt plug if your rear end. These are ways to make missionary a little more exciting for you both.

Don’t attempt to go through all these positions in one night. Take your time with this—make it a fun activity that you and your guy can do over weeks, or even months.

Now, even though every dick and vagina is different, I still want to provide a couple of sex positions to attempt first. Since I don’t have a curved penis, and truthfully wasn’t sure which positions would be ideal for a man with one, I reached out to Dr. Lee Phillips, a psychotherapist and certified sex and couple’s therapist.

He recommended two positions. The first was Stand and Deliver.

To get into this position, your man should be at the edge of a bed or desk while you lie back and raise your legs to your chest. Then, bend your knees as if you’re doing a “bicycling” exercise. Your man grabs your ankles and then enters you.

“This gives him great control; hopefully, he will be out of his head and deep inside you,” Philips said.

The second position is the Bone Prone sex position.

To get into this position, you should lie flat on your stomach. Your man should saddle up behind you with his knees bent and enter you from behind. It looks like this:

“One benefit is that it is perfect for hitting the G-spot because of the slight downward angle you are lying in,” Philips said. “And the curve of his dick can penetrate the upper wall of your pussy.”

If neither of these positions works for you and your man, luckily, you have 54 more positions to try!